depressed

I did not want to exist that moment

As I felt pointless to tell the truth

And there was nothing that you would think

Is reasonable to cry out

I was broke since I became

Part of this rich cultured world

I was so torn like a bamboo basket

That had been soaked and forgotten

And still I am.

I wanted not to be me

I looked around for a change

But the mirrors reflected only me

I crashed the mirrors

And got inside it

And I ended up inside a saloon

With a barber with the longest hair

I asked him how could I change?

He thought with the scissor picking his teeth.

A smile brightened his face

He said, “That is why I exist.

I like people like you

Who comes to me with better meaning of me

Not just to cut their hair to bear the sunny days.

And I wanted to be different

That is why I have this long hair.”

So he shaved my head.

And the lady to whom I lost myself

Did not like my shaved head

Or she hated me sweating

And I was sweating

But I was calm and quiet

Like it was a winter night

“Anyway” was what her eyes meant

She held my hand took me to her stairs

Where she faces the windy side of the city

I felt for the first time I was not in the city

She was making some soup

While I was watching the children flying kite

I saw the freedom,

The kites have felt

Strolling and winging

In the never ending sky,

In their eyes

Even if they came out from a 10 square feet room

My lady offered me the soup

With a steel spoon

Which once we bought

From the famous Darya Ganj Sunday Market,

Not to be mistaken

It is not the place where western influenced people go

To look for Levi’s pair of jeans

Or anything-branded clothes,

It is the market where books are sold

In the cheapest price they could be

It is where from I bought “Cinnamon Peeler.”

As I looked deeper and deeper

In the sky facing the wind

I was again reasoning for my existence

But she stopped me

And asked me “Can you fly Kite?”

I said no and had a sip of soup

She asked, ”How come?

Hadn’t you even tried once?”

I said no

I don’t want to feel unrealistic freedom

That the kites feel at the highest altitude

That too control by a soft thread,

May that was the reason unknowingly

I had never tried it……